Everyday Life

2010-02-27T09:38:00.000-08:00

[x] Heartbroken

[x] Cried

[x] Missing someone.....

Why do I still give a shit....
its just like im here for nothing..
nothing will happen.
so fucking stupid and useless...

A few more days

2009-11-15T12:29:00.000-08:00

a few more days...
a few more days till another number is added on...
a few more days...
a few more days till you get one year closer to dying...
a few more days...

Blabber

2009-10-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

I finally get why people blog,
Its to get away from the world.
Vent.
Release their inner feelings that they cant tell to no one else.
I always thought blogging was just sort of a daily report.
But its not.
And now.
I don't care if no one reads it.
It just feels better to get it out.
In tough times a blog is your best friend.

I woke up this morning staring at the ceiling in shock. Thinking what happened last night, was it real ? was it not. But deep down I knew it was. I remember when she talked about this girl that started smoking because her bf left her. I was all like thats a stupid reason to smoke, But now i think about it to a deeper level. Smoking kept her sane, it reminded her of the good times. That's completely the way I felt. Maybe it can help me. Dunno, I want to, But I promised to her i won't. But I guess a promise doesn't mean anything when she leaves your life. Yup, I think I will probaly start again. Wooo......... exciting........Then I started to think about the past. The past....... What great times. I wish I could live in that moment of time. With no worries. Don't have to worry about advancing in life. No worries of death. No worries of losing the things you love most one by one. Yup gasping on the past is the best. And as I start to think of this I start to cry.... Yes I told you, cry. Sigh, women are like little angels with a dark heart. They give you times to reminisce on, and then they stab you on the back and suck your life out of you leaving you stuck in a spider web of your past. I always look at the past few months. I haven't went out with her a lot. Every time we did It would always mess up. Like I would have no money, get pissed or she got pissed etc.... But the three that really left and impression on my mind was not the ones were we went to a mall, But to the quiet places. Number one, The day I first held her hand. It was just the two of us in the theatre watching 7 pounds. That may have no been the most romantic place , but hey to me now it is. That Richmond Theatre in Richmond Centre is one of the 3 most romantic places to me. Cause its where it all started. Its where I first held her hand. Sure Metro at new years was the first time I saw her And went to watch bed time stories. But it has no romantic value to me. the only thing from there is that I got to see her for the first time. Her delicious curves. her snow white skin . Love at first sight. The second place was Barnet marine park. Sure getting there was super super hard. Standing in the sun for half an hour isn't a walk in the park. But all that work just to sit on the edge under a tree with our feet dangling off the edge into the sand. Sitting together looking at this amazing view was the best feeling in the world. One I will never forget when I jump off a skyscraper 3 seconds from now. Then the last one was the most recent. It was after a SeaBus ride to North Vancouver. We walked up the hill and went across together. Walked all the way back down. We sat at a bench in the park. The first bench right after the overpass near the Theatre. If I went back I could sit in the same exact spot, same exact position, talk about the same stuff. While she cuddled on to me for warmth, It was the greatest feeling in the world. Then a damn worm ruined it. Completely gross. Completely worth a couple of laughs. I guess its a way of saying don't get freaky in my park. We saw this really cute dog running around while we were on that bench. then after that disgusting worm we went to the buoy by the pier. We sat there facing each others and has a nice discussions while she put her legs on top of mine. Great fun. Then I look at the sticky pictures. Sigh........ Banana man........................ All those fun times behind the sticker booth................... all the fun times going wtf why did you do that......... sigh......... all gone =/. Banana man was the first gift I gave her. I remember She Said Wtf why did u buy me that. We went to Red Robins. There was even a little kid that came up to us and was like ' LOOK ITS A BANANA MAN '. We laughed secretly and talked about it secretly. Cause that kid only sat a couple of feet away. But what times.... Also hello kitty........ I went to the piggy bank place for weeks trying to pick one out. I didn't want to buy one that she would dislike. The hello kitty I was strawberry style it was holding a cushion in a heart shape saying ' I Love You' in beautiful handwriting. When I paid for it. The person was like ' Wtf are you gay?'. I always got tons of stares when I went into there. Very awkward. extremely awkward. So I just left with it. But now all those times are over it seems. I think I will lose it all. She says that she still has a bit of feelings for me an hour after she said she had none. I really get that feeling that she actually has none left and only saying she has a bit because she wants to comfort me out of being emo. But nothing will change that =/. What was said was said. Maybe I will wait till the end of this month to see how it will go. Maybe I can add more to more memories or... more to my nightmares.... right now it seems like... my nightmares have become a reality. Right now I'll add oil.. Try my hardest to patch it up. But.... feelings just don't come back after they disappear. Must prepare for the worse.... Maybe another year without celebrating my birthday with someone I want to spend it with =/. Why does my birthday have to be so..... inconvenient. That magazine was right. Winter ... is break up season..... =/.... I put all my heart into this relationship. I just hope it worked. Maybe all those people that said it would work was wrong. I only hope that I was right for believing Love Triumphs all. That love doesn't discriminate. But I get the feeling... I doesnt work that why... I just hope it doesn't =/

To Be Continued?

3 Point Check List

2009-10-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

A disaster hit

A Proceduce to Save the disaster

3 Point Check list

[x] Love

[x] Love some more

[x] Love until your heart breaks

I wonder if it will work.
I still get butterflies from looking at her.
But She doesn't get it no more when she looks at me.
Am I that fugly.

[ ] No

[x] Yes

The End?

[ ] Yes

[ ] No

[ ] Maybe

[x] Ain't Giving Up Without a Chance

New everything

2009-09-12T21:18:00.001-07:00

I need a new job >O<

I need to stop being so poor

I need to do good in school

School just started,

and its already hard T__T

how am I gonna make it through the year.

School starts,

And now I only get to see my lo por once a week.

]= I miss her tons,

and tons,

I wish i could see her more.

Damn school.

Still in love with the same old piggy

oink oink =]

love yeah foreverrr lo porrrr <333

]= wtf

2009-09-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

I had a really messed up dream.
it made me feel emo after.
i dont know why.

In the dream,
I dreamt my girlfriend went to this party..
thats fine and all right?
and then the day after...
i see her on youtube and facebook in a park playing around in a little kids swimming pool
Surrounded by a ring of guys 3 lines thick.
like those ones you buy at super store.
the inflatable ones.
she still had all her clothes on at this time
and then she starts to take off her red jacket.
she is wearing a red tank top under.
and then this guy comes along and pull off her tank top..
and she seems to be enjoying it.
like really enjoying it
she wasnt getting pissed or anything.
and then i woke up.

Because of this dream i slept for 4 hours again......
its coming back...
insomnia
i'm sure she would never do that.
but after seeing that in my dream...
just.... tramatizing

My one and only

2009-08-29T00:39:00.000-07:00

To me my baby is perfect,
She always tries to make me a better person of me,
She never gives up on me,
Even though I make many mistakes,
She is wind under my wings.
Without her,
I would still be a bitchy little kid.
I have changed a lot since I met her,
And still to this day,
I still get the same feeling I got when I first saw her,
Butterflies in my stomach.

She maybe not the nicest girlfriend,
But at least she's direct and tells me the truth.
She's real and un-buttered,
Uncooked,
I prefer raw meat.

She does a lot of things that make me sad,
She goes to places with her friends that she wouldn't go with me,
That makes me jealous, and sad,
But i guess that's just me being clingy.
Bad timing.

She maybe needy and a shopaholic,
But I like that about her,
It gives me an idea about what to give her or talk about,
And HEY at least when I dont know what to buy,
I can always count on her for a great fashion sense!

My baby maybe not the most perfect girl in the world,
But really who is?
There are no couples that don't fight,
It's just what happens after the fight,
Real couple make up after it all,
And that's what I have,
I wouldn't trade her for anything else,
So don't brag to me about how much better yours is,
Because I love the one I have,
She is the only one I want,
Because she is just the way I love them,
I love her just the way she is.

Dot dot dot

2009-08-27T02:46:00.000-07:00

Why the do i even give a fuck anymore
= o=
when people dont even treat me the same
im just gonna treat them the same as they treat me
im not even gonna try...
fuck this = =
dont care no more

5 more days

2009-08-08T02:00:00.000-07:00

tick tock
5 more days
=]
love yeah

Right now

2009-07-28T12:41:00.001-07:00

Right now
Im missing chyu > 3<>o<
When we hug
It feels like nothing else in the world matters ^^
Best feeling in the world =D

Right now....
I love you....
And will love you forever ^3^
<333

WxM=4ever

Scary Dream

2009-07-19T22:42:00.000-07:00

Omg today
i had the most messed up dream
about me and my baby
]=
soo sad
it just ruined my day
and i alienated everyone around me
]=
sighs

Hectic~

2009-07-03T23:44:00.001-07:00

things have gotten so hectic life is so hard what i need right now is to chill~~~ chilllaxxx take a break have a kit kat for maybe a week or 2 just zone out everything
maybe then ill be able to think it through

Picking away

2009-06-30T11:40:00.000-07:00

Undecided thoughts going through my mind
bouncing off the sides of my throughts

She loves me
She loves me not

So I decided to take a chance
I picked away at the petals of a flower

She loves me...
She loves me not....
She loves me ...
She loves me not....

The petals disappeared one by one

Guess what the final answer was....

OMG OMG >333<"

2009-06-29T22:19:00.001-07:00

OMG TODAY
D=
FREAK~~~
FREAKING OUT ]=
Today ><
I was walking my baby home
and then
freeakkkkk D=
we ran into her moms best friend
and now she might tell her mom about me

My baby is scared ]=
but i just wanna let her know
that i'll be with her no matter what
each and every step =]

Also I realized that
this is the one
I want for the rest of my life
No other
>333333<

Love

2009-06-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

What Is Love?

What Is Love?

Is it checking your messages when every you can?

Is it look at your phone to check if she replied?

Is it thinking of her every second of your life?

Is worrying what she is doing when she doesnt reply?

Is it wanting to hear her voice before you sleep?

Is it wondering about your future together?

Is it wanting to hold hands even when it is blizteringly hot only because it's the only thing you want?

Is it thinking about what you can do for her to make it better for her?

Is it when your down, you think of her face it makes you smile and feel all tingly inside?

Is it wanting to hear her talk about her day?

Is it wanting to hold her for eternity all secuded alone as if nothing else in the world matters?

This is my Love

Others may have other feelings about love.

But this is the way my special one makes me feel.

It makes me smile inside and feel good.

It makes me feel like time stands still for us when we hug,

When we hold hands,

When we kiss.

This is how I feel.
It is very special to me.
I wouldn't exchange it for anything else.
Baby I Love You
s2
This Is What Love Is To Me

Questions

2009-06-09T00:27:00.000-07:00

Questions,
Questions that are like a ping pong ball,
Bouncing from one side to another,

Questions,
Questions that are out of reach,
Into Space,
The sky,
The stars,
The moon,

A Curious Mind,
One Full of these questions,
Is boggled,
Wanting questions to be answered,
But,
Bet cannot be asked,

A Curious Mind,
Is balancing on a teter toter,
On Either end,
A pit of ravage Spikes,
stand each as tall at the titanic is long,
Slip,
Trip,
Fall,
The End

Over-analyzation is the name of the game

JELLYFISHIE<3

2009-06-04T22:02:00.000-07:00

WOOO skipped today~ Got to go out with piggy <333
We went to the aquarium
And
It reminded me of my childhood
2nd time there =]
the fishies were so cool
and hawt
THE FREAKEN TROPICAL ZONE = GG
but there was one thing hotter then that there
=]
it was moi piggy <333 style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><333333333333
at stanley park
i liked it =]
love my piggy <333
alone ="]">ot to talk

<333

WOW WOWW

2009-05-25T15:37:00.000-07:00

seriously...
dumb asses...
some fag threw a rock at the bus
and broke the window
=-=
so the bus stopped there and didnt go anywhere..
so we had to wait like 15 mins for another one
fucking dumb people
=-=.....................

'sigh

2009-05-20T20:42:00.001-07:00

'sigh
GAYEST HAIR CUT EVER
T_T
EPIC FAIL
'sigh sigh
mini bruce lee
LOL
FUCKKKKKK~~~~~~~~

+++

CUTEST TEXT I GOT LAST NIGHT
=]

"I miss you
I your warm hugs
And the ways you make me smile
And the piggy back rides
and how my hand fits perfectly in yours"

It just melted my heart <33333

Update ~~~

2009-05-16T15:58:00.000-07:00

sigh i didnt feel like blogging these couple of days
=s
too sad
t-t
soo stupiddd
and
tired
..
and sleeping at like 3-4am everyday..
freak my insomnia T_T

WOO 10 mins left

2009-05-13T23:50:00.001-07:00

WOO JUST BEFORE
IT TURNS 12 I'LL LIKE TO SAY HAPPY 4 MONTH BABY
WOOO
WOOO
WOO
PARTYY
I LOVE YOU
<3333

T_T

2009-05-13T20:36:00.001-07:00

OK I feel bad today ]=
because today I
Didnt like do anything nice for baby
]=
but like.. i
accidently deleted all her hard history WORK
T_T
FREAKK
i hate myself
]=
and like today she was so nice
she even bought me an french connection T
T_T

Watermelon Art

2009-05-10T21:51:00.000-07:00

LOL I became so bored without my baby
I made something for her
and ate it =O
MHHH
Watermelon Art ~~~~

<333
I miss you loads ]=

OMG~

2009-05-09T21:39:00.001-07:00

Freaken Plan B pills
@_@
Things that guys dont know..
Was like 30$
For like 2 lil pills...
and it came in this HUGE ASS BOX
and like 98% of the box was empty air
=-=
wasteful packaging,..
I bet the packaging jackes up the price by like 10$
=-=
SOO OVER PRICED T_T
I guess thats what happens when you... fuck up..

+++

I get the feeling I made baby sad today
]=
I didnt make her hashbrowns and french toast
><
she seemed so sad ]=
Grrr

+++

The circus was...
Interesting...
LOL
a bunch of white people
I think I'll buy tickets to Cirque du soleil
If they decide to come to vancouver agian =]

Plan B <3

2009-05-08T22:41:00.000-07:00

Thank god for plan B =]
enough Said =P

+++

sorry baby ]=
i'm such a screw up ]=

<333

I miss you ]=

2009-05-06T15:44:00.000-07:00

I MISS YOU A LOT BABY
]=
GRRRR
AND IT'S ONLY WEDNESDAY T-T
Rawr i wanna hug you in my arms ~~

I know you did good on your exam =]
Cause you studied soo hard =p
YOU KNOW
I SAW IT =O
SO FOCUSED =P
LIKE A SHEEP MEH MEEHHHHHHHHHHH LOLLL
~~~

I love you =] <333333333333333

+++

First work day in two weeks =s

YAY =DDD

2009-05-04T15:42:00.000-07:00

YAYY
I got a good mark on my chem test
=]
87%
WOO
MAYBE I CAN PASS WITH THE FINAL =DDD

+++

ALL THANKS TO MY BABY
=]
FOR LENDING ME HER CHEM WORKBOOK
thanks baby <333
lub chyu forever and ever and ever =]
I miss you T_T

Picnic =o

2009-05-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

WOO
went to picnic =]
at park~~~
Honeymelon
X
Shittty kimbap
X
Strawberry Jello
X
Onion rings
She ate her engagement ring again........
darn it
reject T_T

+++

CARDS again LOLLL

+++

Someone.. hid a rock from meee
o-o
I wonder what it is

+++

Someone was trying to get it on
under the bed sheets while bro and sis were in the room
watching the hannah montana movie
LOLLLL

+++

Someone
Not saying anynames
but they ate mcd's today =o
Lollll
~~~~

<3

Fun Day =]

2009-05-03T00:10:00.001-07:00

What a fun day =O
Gf did her make up
It was SOOO FREAKEN
PRETTYYYY =]
even if it took like 4 hours LOLLLL
one in a billion for realz
'nods

+++

We watched the orphanage
OMg
poor mom and kid T_T
'sniffle
kid got killedd accidently by mom T_T

+++

CAMWHORE WITH GF =]
and then fun times playing cards with bro and sis + gf =]
seems like one family =o

+++

I HAD FuN MAKING FOOD FOR THEM LOLL
EVEN THO WE DIDN;T GET TO EAT IT
CAUSE IT GOT RAINY
AND WE COULDNT GO ON PICNIC

How could I ask for a more perfect day
=]
smiles all day long =o
<33333 S2

Ouch~

2009-05-02T10:27:00.000-07:00

Life sucks...
Schools a drag
Friends are being 2 faced..
Parents bitching ....
心痛啊~...
I dont know what to do...
What is she thinking...
I have no clue....
My life fails =-=